I woke up the morning of Wednesday, July 31st a bit tired, a little hungover (results of a fun last night on the town in LA), but excited none the less. As I gathered the last of my belongings from Tina’s apartment in Hollywood and shoved them in my car, I had such a calm feeling knowing I was FINALLY taking action in regards to my desires to travel the world.
Afters years upon years of dreaming of traveling while miserable at my day job, the time had come for me to just do it. Not knowing exactly where I was going or who I was staying with was much less to worry about than the worry I felt about having to work at a desk the rest of my life. I tried to do the whole go to college and get a job thing but after almost 8 years of doing what I though I should do (i.e. build a career)….I finally had an epiphany and recognized I was just going through motions. Work, sleep, work, fun, sleep. This is NOT the life I had imagined.
Why did I still feel so unaccomplished after getting by MBA and getting a job as a Director of a brain training center? Sometimes I felt like I was just doing things for the bragging rights or to build a more impressive resume but now looking back on it — holy hell!! What was I thinking? I refuse to play the “should of, would of, could of” game because I most likely would just drive myself crazy. I cant go back and change the way I felt, thought, or acted…but I do have control over what I do NOW…in this moment… today. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for all of those experiences because they made me the person I am today… but doing what I thought “I should do” left me feeling bored with my life.
Here I was living in sunny southern California which I absolutely loved and enjoyed. However, in the back of my mind was this strong desire to “just travel”. I had a rocky road with employment (primarily just not being happy where I was) and spent most of my day wanting to be somewhere else…ANYWHERE else.. aside from the office. It’s crazy to think of this because I feel like the more people I talk to the more this is “the norm” and we all just kind of accept it because “we are suppose to work at a job”. A slew of excuses (mostly financial) kept me from going after my dreams. I would meet people that have traveled the world and secretly envy their adventures. How did they make it happen? What did they have/know/do that I didn’t?
In March of 2013 I had an open and honest conversation with my employer about my feelings (There is a long back story to the craziness I had to endure while employed there but I’ll spare you the details – just know the drama kicked my ass and caused tremendous anxiety in my life). I pretty much said I was miserable, didn’t see my future there, but didn’t want to leave them high and dry since I had just facilitated a move into a new office (from 800 sq ft to 2,200 sq ft — and of course now had a super nice office after being in a windowless room that was more like a closet for over a year – go figure). I told the owner I wanted to be fair to them but also was terrified because I supported myself and couldn’t just quit because I had nothing else lined up.
I don’t think my news came as a shock to the owner because of my demeanor over the prior few months. I hate to admit it but sometimes I was merely just showing up to the office. I would have brief moments of time where I would be super passionate and happy about what I was doing (I’m still such an advocate for brain training – it’s amazing. Life changing), but the majority of the time I was in a daze and constantly wishing I was somewhere else. And I’m not the type of person who just wants to half ass something so it really wore me out mentally knowing that I wasn’t applying myself or giving it 100%.
The convo with the owner went well and he was supportive of what I wanted to do (coaching and consulting).Long story short, we parted ways amicably, I received a small severance, and was told I could file for unemployment. WOW. Did that really just happen?
Even before I left my job I was connected with a business consultant and him and I hit it off. He took me under his wing and coached me in regards to which direction I wanted to go. I had high hopes of starting a coaching and consulting practice and my first project was a time management workshop. I had mixed feelings as I researched and developed a 4 hour workshop. I mustered up some enthusiasm but deep down I felt like I was falling back into a “job”.
When it came to making sales calls to invite people to the workshop… well lets just be honest- they didn’t happen. I have a hate-hate relationship with making sales calls. I can chat it up with anyone in person but put me on the phone and I feel like I’m going to vomit and cry…seriously. I’d rather go to the gynecologist and dentist in the same day than make sales calls.
The pilot came for the workshop and I presented to a group of 11 people (only 12 seats available!!)… so I was feeling good and I seriously come to life when I present. The feedback was great and I was loving it. After the workshop was the question of “Now what?”… I had aspirations to sell the training to corporations and put on more workshops… but that involves sales calls. “Hi I’m calling to make an appointment to get all my teeth drilled, whitened, and whatever else you want to do to them.” <– didn’t really happen but if I faced with that decision…
Something still didn’t feel right in my gut. Was I passionate about this? Is this what I truly wanted? I had a person willing to help guide me but something still wasn’t settling right with me. I distanced myself and faded away… I didn’t know where I was headed or what I wanted to do but I just needed time to BE and think.
My mission in life is to live life the way I imagined it and help other people do that same… resulting in the birth of Lifestyles by Lindsay. I believe everyone has the right to design their own life and passionately live out their desires…however I know and recognize that many people are stuck (I’m in the process of becoming unstuck!). Fear, doubt, money, confidence etc. hold people back from just doing what it is they want to do.
I’m an avid reader and constantly educating myself about business, health, and wealth. I love sharing my knowledge and ideas so I started with a business Facebook page (Lifestyle by Lindsay) and figured I would see where it would take me. I’m still exploring where this is headed but at least I took the first step (that journey has begun).
So here I was just chilling in Southern Cali not really knowing where I was headed. It wasn’t til I had an issue with a roommate that suddenly made me reevaluate my whole situation. I was living with Brad for 2.5 years (who is now one of my bestest friends – we met on Craigslist roommate section!) and another girl who had moved in about a year ago. Right from the start of her moving in we like like DAMNIT. She was messy, had countless random guests over, and would stay up at all hours of the night.
I don’t want to write too much about it because it STILL GETS ME LIKE GRRRRRRRRR… but Brad and I decided to give her 30 days notice (FYI she wasn’t even on our lease — just CA law). We thought the problem was solved, we had a fellow east coaster lined up to move in… life was about to be peachy again with her gone.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. She decided to dig her heels in and say we couldn’t kick her out and yadeyadeyada. Well… she was right. STUPID Cali tenant law… I despise you. Why someone would want to live with two people that aren’t friends with you and have made it clear they want you out of the house is beyond me. She even claimed Brad (the nicest dude on earth) was “threatening her life”… Ok let me get something straight here. You are fearing your life yet you want to live 2 feet from that person? Sounds like a solid plan to me!!
She called our property manager and talked a whole bunch of smack about us and blah blah blah the story can go on forever. Pretty much Brad and I didn’t want to live with a psycho so we gave our 30 days notice. We would move on and part ways. Through this saga I decided I would move to Hollywood for a month then travel back to Philly to stay with family with my eventual goal of traveling internationally. Didn’t know how that would all happen but figured YOLO – I’d figure that shit out along the way.
This drama was down to the last minute when I found out that she was planning on staying and getting roommates and it was OUR responsibility to get her out otherwise we couldn’t end our lease. Now it takes a lot for me to get mad… but I nearly cussed out our property manager (he’s seriously incompetent so don’t feel bad).
I had a convo with psycho girl and found out she was moving out Monday (we were leaving Sunday). When she found out we were then going to stay til Monday (hell if i’m leaving you in my house alone!)… she ended up moving out Sunday night. DING DONG the crazy girl is gone!!! SWEET relief!
I packed my car and headed up to Hollywood where I would be living with Tina (a friend from childhood) for a month before taking off cross country. I spent the month of July doing every possible thing I could find to do in LA (that was free or cheap) and enjoyed myself. I decided to let go of my anxiety of feeling like I had to be working towards something in my career. It was time for me to chill out and just enjoy. I got comfortable actually admitting to people that I was “just chilling” — where before I would go into a about story my career and make it sound like I was doing something productive and fabulous.
Something had changed inside of me where I just felt I was doing the right thing and by letting go… I would find my way. I was in the rat race for years and desperately wanted out. Now I WAS out and it was time to soak it all up and see where life took me.
The time had come for me to start my first journey… driving cross country. I had a general route I wanted to take. Aside from that my plan was– no plan, JUST WING IT! I feel in the past I was so consumed with figuring out my next move that I wasn’t enjoying the move I was currently in. Therefore I vowed to just drive, find cool places, meet people, and take it from there.
And this is where the story begins…
NOTE to readers – forgive any grammar, spelling, or whatever other writing mistakes you will find in my posts. Yes I love to use dashes and dots – I write how I would speak! Since I am writing from the road my first focus is enjoying the sights and trying to record them as best I can. Therefore, in regards to proof reading – Ain’t nobody got time fo dat!